i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
