I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
handjob tips. give me some.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
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