Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Randomize
