My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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