I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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