how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Randomize