Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
