he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
