Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
