well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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