Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
