Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Little spoons don't ask big questions
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Randomize
