youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
cat food counts as protein by the way
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
My bed is full of blood and feathers
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
