Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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