In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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