Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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