Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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