I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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