the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
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drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
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Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
You don't make any sense
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