By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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