This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
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So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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