Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
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