Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize