You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
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