it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Randomize
