We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
me + whiskey = a bad person
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
