I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
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