Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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