I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Randomize