Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
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