I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
