I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
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Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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