Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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