I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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