i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
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