We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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