On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Randomize
