he shaved USA in his pubs
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
