Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
So here I am, sexting at work.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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