I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Randomize
