So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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