Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Randomize
