I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Randomize