shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize