Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
