I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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