Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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