Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
