my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Randomize