i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
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