Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
