That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize
