The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Randomize
