This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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