So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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