i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
