I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
