If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
