is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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