she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Randomize
