We're facebook friends in real life
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
