I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
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