Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
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