and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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