Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
