he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
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I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
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my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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